Throw Up Like You Just Don't Care

Blog Riddle:
On last night's train ride from Dehra Dun to Delhi, I travelled facing forward halfway and backward halfway. I didn't change seats. What gives?

Head On: Apply Directly to the Forehead

A: I guess we did 3-point turn.

The end of the story from last time is pretty boring. I sat in the middle seat and their son went and sat in the compartment with the driver. So Mom, Dad and two daughters had two seats. What worried me was the Barf Schedule. For some of you, this would be a great place to stop reading, or see 'ALAS' below.

April 6, Bus from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap
Little girl sitting next to me calls up the aisle to her mother several times and she finally comes. Little girl throws up into a plastic bag her mother holds.

April 15: Flight from Bangkok to Delhi
Surely the one flight that has caused me, with a stomach of steel, to come the closest to 'Reversal of Fortune', grounds for disqualification in Nathan's Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest. As we began to descend, the pretty English girl next to me throws up in the 'aerial discomfort bag', or whatever they call it.

April 20, Bus from Delhi to Haridwar
This was a 6-hour bus ride. With less than 3 blocks to travel, the woman directly across the aisle throws up right on the floor of the bus. I suppose it would've been worse if she had done it earlier on, but she chose the perfect moment so that Vijay and I had to experience its aroma before getting off.

As a former bettnig man, I would've guessed that on this bumpy, windy (an horrifying) 12-hour bus ride from Jochimath to Dehra Dun(May 3), there would be another session to add to the list. About 20 minutes into the trip(5:50am), the man 2 rows up sticks his head out the window and generously deposits his last meal onto the roadway, or maybe into the 4000-foot valley. 10 minutes later, the woman across the aisle from him does the same out her window. These two don't count. I perpetually feared that the 5 year girl next to me, whose sleeping head rests either on her father's left arm or my right arm, was about to wake up feeling queasy and deposit a wet, smelly mess in m lap. I'm sure, at that point, with all the factors contributing, it wouldn't have taken much for me to muster up some retaliation, making sure to get at least a little bit on each of the 4 family members in my range.

Let me interject an apology here for the lowbrow content.

ALAS, everybody held it down and I soon upgraded seats. But wait, this is still India, and we're not out of the woods yet. The bus would go on to break down in Rishikesh. Fortunately, we broke down at a spot where "share-jeeps" gather groups for the beautiful ride to Dehra Dun. After half hour or a bit more of a couple guys tinkering and whole lot more guys watching, I pulled my bags off the bus and, in a rare move of extravagance (after 9 hours on a bus), purchased both seats in the front row of the jeep, for a total 60 Rs. I think the '4-seat' row behind me had 9 people in it, with a couple children perched up on our seat back. Safety not always first for the nice folks here. I enjoyed the space on the lovely ride with my left foot out the non-door.

I arrived at the rendezvous in Dehra Dun just about on time. I was meeting Raj, another guide with the company I trekked with, whom I met in Joshimath. Like Haridwar, having a friend and local tourguide made the town uch more enjoyable.

It was quite fun to be able to treat this guy to dinner at the relatively fancy 'Punjab Restaurant' and 'order the heck out of the menu". (-Bob Chipkin) We had:

-Russian Salad
-Mixed Raita
-Shahi Mutton Something
-Paneer Makhani
-Vegetable Biryani
-Chapati
-Bottled Water, for me

I ate too much. I almost couldn't chew and swallow the traditional moutth freshener of rock candy and anise seeds.

500 Rupees paid forthis feast and a tip for the waiter. For my American readers, that's like leaving a $10 bill.

As we stepped out of the restaurant, the power went out in the whole town. Just as we arrived home, it came back on (probably because Raj had just bought a couple candles). Lucky guys.

May 6(Today) Evening Train to Agra
May 7 Taj Mahal sunrise, explore Taj and Agra Fort, Taj Mahal sunset, train back to Delhi.
May 9/10 Delhi to BKK
May 12/13 BKK to JFK

For those of you who are worried about what you will read at work when I go home and this blog terminates, fear not. Simply send me a big bag full of money and I promised to take another trip and blog all about it, with or without vomit stories.

Till next time, try and hold it down.